Sunday, December 16, 2012

Look what GOD has done

One of my friends text me a few nights ago:
"Your first anniversary is in a week! How amazing, look what God 
 has done in just a year."

I can't believe it. 
I'm glad God doesn't count time as what is the most meaningful. 

People have been asking me whether I thought the first year was the hardest, and I'm unsure of how to answer them. 
We are positive we will have years that are more difficult in outward circumstances, but those years will be so blessed by our relying on God's grace. 

And I'm sure there will be years where we struggle more inwardly. But they can't seem to be measured by anything but how much grace He gives. That's all that's left to see. 

This year has been a whirlwind. 
There is so much I dont remember. 
Good stuff, bad stuff. 
It's a blur.
After a year, we're left with no points we can add up of how many months we got along well or how much we prayed together or what we did... 
All we have is this great shadow of Him over it all. 

We're humbled and we're thankful, and we're most certainly different, though I couldn't describe exactly how.

Every marriage looks different. What is difficult for us might not faze you. 

So, if you're a newlywed, enjoy the journey of figuring it out together. Don't be discouraged and don't look around at other people! 

To get really "practical, everyday life" with you, here's what "good" looks like for us:

- I feel tons of pressure to cook meals for my husband. Pressure I put on myself. Partly because I want to serve my husband, but mostly because of my pride. I want to exceed the expectations as "wife." Ya know, so I can hear the crowd's applause in my mind.
The truth is, Clarke is a better cook. He loves to cook. Most of the week he makes it home before me. So it just works for us that he does most of the cooking. Now that I've accepted this, I can enjoy it and have a grateful heart for him serving me that way.

- I'm the laundry girl. It's my thing. Don't try and fold it. Don't even look at my laundry.

P.S. These things are subject to change as we move through the seasons of this life.

- 99.999% of the time, we go to bed at the same time. Our weird schedules don't align for most hours of the day, so even that sleep-time is precious, quality time.

- I had to learn that my husband needs time to himself. Even if it's just for ten minutes. He studies better if he gets away from the house for awhile. Give him ten minutes (go ahead, give him an hour) of uninterrupted time with a book or his bible, and thank Jesus that He is your husband's first love. 

- My husband is funny all the time. All the time, people. I could be embarrassed or I could get over it and enjoy life. I got over it.

Last and least: we know how to argue. Oooh, can a conversation go from hilarious to ticked off in a jiffy. But Jesus is working on our hearts and we're for real submitting our wrong thoughts to Him. Oh, and these lips have spoken some horrible words to my husband. Awful. I would have to bleep them out on blogger. 

What I'm trying to say is...

I am fallen. We are depraved. But we don't have to stay in our junk. Our lives are now hidden in Christ. And He is painting a glorious picture with this marriage. 

I'm raising my glass (of water. bahaha) to however many more days or months or years God gives us this marriage. Lord, make your name famous. 

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