Friday, January 20, 2012
Since I was a kid, I had these naturally rose-colored lips. They were pretty. Otherwise, I thought I was a rather interesting..strange..looking girl. Big forehead, big teeth, big cheeks, big chin. Sounds lovely, doesn't it?
I have this fear of man. Fear of people's misconceptions or assumptions about who I am.
It sounds ridiculous, but I was afraid that if someone saw me with lipstick, I would look like someone I am not. I didn't want to cover up what I thought was one of the few attractive things about me - my lips. What if I met some handsome guy and he didn't like lipstick girls and there I was wearing lipstick. It makes me laugh now to look back and see how much I really thought about it.
That lipstick struggle was about so much more. Fear of man.
The other day I was getting ready for a date with my husband and pulled out my gorgeous Estee Lauder lipstick. The one I keep on me all the time these days. Even when I don't wear any other makeup, sometimes I just throw on that lipstick. For me. Because it makes rainy days and snow days feel alive. Because I don't care if someone sees what I really look like. They've got time. Because I'm going on a date with my husband..and he knows what I look like with no makeup.
And I'm a wife. And I'm a friend. And Jesus loves when I'm praying while I put my lipstick on and when I go to church with no makeup on.
I've struggled for years with fear of man. Which is also a pride issue. But over the last year, God has slowly been teaching me through everyday life how to REST in HIM.
Stop worrying over the little things and rest. Dress up, or don't. Work out, or don't. Cook an awesome, healthy dinner for your husband...and have fun when you microwave that yummy bowl of soup.
So, go ahead. Wear that lipstick to the grocery store. Eat a cheeseburger. Be real. It's all about our attitude.
Do the things we choose reflect a heart at rest or turmoil within us from fear of man?
Live in freedom.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
My best friend, Clarke (who also happens to
be my husband), has these dreams.
I have these dreams.
Deep down in my heart.
We want to connect to the world.
I dream of writing and encouraging and
helping others recognize God's call for
Clarke dreams of planting churches and
mentoring young men.
I feel God stirring my heart. For days.
There is a feeling close to discontent, but
it's not unhappy. Just as if something big
is coming up and God wants me to see it. And
He wants me to be ready. So this nervous
excitement in my stomach reminds me to talk
to Him. To look for Him. And He is reminding
me to not give up on the dreams He put in my
heart. Do not let worldly wisdom snuff out
the seemingly "wild" dreams you have for
your life. If they are for the Lord.
Let God give me words to write. Let God
prepare us for His people.