I'll be home for Christmas

Our elf sits like a man

Monogrammed bracelet for our anniversary! 

Downtown Ft. Wayne at Christmas

Uncle and nephew

To-go mugs..because we always lose them.

My christmas present!

Look what GOD has done

One of my friends text me a few nights ago:
"Your first anniversary is in a week! How amazing, look what God 
 has done in just a year."


I can't believe it. 
I'm glad God doesn't count time as what is the most meaningful. 

People have been asking me whether I thought the first year was the hardest, and I'm unsure of how to answer them. 
We are positive we will have years that are more difficult in outward circumstances, but those years will be so blessed by our relying on God's grace. 

And I'm sure there will be years where we struggle more inwardly. But they can't seem to be measured by anything but how much grace He gives. That's all that's left to see. 

This year has been a whirlwind. 
There is so much I dont remember. 
Good stuff, bad stuff. 
It's a blur.
After a year, we're left with no points we can add up of how many months we got along well or how much we prayed together or what we did... 
All we have is this great shadow of Him over it all. 

We're humbled and we're thankful, and we're most certainly different, though I couldn't describe exactly how.

Every marriage looks different. What is difficult for us might not faze you. 

So, if you're a newlywed, enjoy the journey of figuring it out together. Don't be discouraged and don't look around at other people! 

To get really "practical, everyday life" with you, here's what "good" looks like for us:

- I feel tons of pressure to cook meals for my husband. Pressure I put on myself. Partly because I want to serve my husband, but mostly because of my pride. I want to exceed the expectations as "wife." Ya know, so I can hear the crowd's applause in my mind.
The truth is, Clarke is a better cook. He loves to cook. Most of the week he makes it home before me. So it just works for us that he does most of the cooking. Now that I've accepted this, I can enjoy it and have a grateful heart for him serving me that way.

- I'm the laundry girl. It's my thing. Don't try and fold it. Don't even look at my laundry.

P.S. These things are subject to change as we move through the seasons of this life.

- 99.999% of the time, we go to bed at the same time. Our weird schedules don't align for most hours of the day, so even that sleep-time is precious, quality time.

- I had to learn that my husband needs time to himself. Even if it's just for ten minutes. He studies better if he gets away from the house for awhile. Give him ten minutes (go ahead, give him an hour) of uninterrupted time with a book or his bible, and thank Jesus that He is your husband's first love. 

- My husband is funny all the time. All the time, people. I could be embarrassed or I could get over it and enjoy life. I got over it.

Last and least: we know how to argue. Oooh, can a conversation go from hilarious to ticked off in a jiffy. But Jesus is working on our hearts and we're for real submitting our wrong thoughts to Him. Oh, and these lips have spoken some horrible words to my husband. Awful. I would have to bleep them out on blogger. 

What I'm trying to say is...

I am fallen. We are depraved. But we don't have to stay in our junk. Our lives are now hidden in Christ. And He is painting a glorious picture with this marriage. 

I'm raising my glass (of water. bahaha) to however many more days or months or years God gives us this marriage. Lord, make your name famous. 
 
 

Crazy people

It's almost Christmas.

Monday is our 1 year anniversary.

To celebrate, I give you...

A list:

1.) We are crazy people, over here. We like to wrestle, quote movies, and talk in silly voices. We're the bomb at fake arguing. Yes, we bought an elf on the shelf. No, we don't have children, we just thought it would be hilarious to hide him all over the house from each other.

2.) Are Christmas cards vain? This was our first year sending one and I feel kinda weird sending people a card that is saying, "Hey, look at all these pictures of me, don't I have nice hair?" Okay, not really. This card is about the gospel, baby. We chose it for the "and the hope of Christ alone." That killed my heart. He's our hope and every season is beautiful because he was born to live for us and die for us. That was the way the Father decided to bring Glory to Himself and it wrecks my heart over and over that He wants us for His glory.

Naptime Diaries Christmas Card

3.) The house is glowy right about now and I could keep it like that all year.

4.) My husband is being sneaky with gifts. I have to just tell someone, I've noticed the sneak! So, ya know, once those fabulous gifts come out of the box, YOU can vouch for me. I knew.

5.) Spinach dip and sweet Hawaiian bread are so delicious together. They should be married. My netflix in bed goes great with spinach dip. 2nd favorite...right after hummus. Hey now, I just like to eat.

6.) An older man walked up to me in the walmart parking lot as I was putting the groceries in my car. He asked if he could take my cart and save me the trip. Geez, I was blessed.

7.) Go grab one of those sweet Christmas cards if you haven't already. Personally, I love seeing everyone's faces all over our house!

Reality

 I love seeing my friends for the first time with no makeup.

 Really, that's part of the bonding.

 Greasy hair, no contacts, no makeup. I adore it.

So, here's what I look like at 10 p.m.  Let's be friends, okay?

   

No-work wednesday

 Because it's my day off...

  
Fall is my favorite for dressing.
 

Source: lesfemmes.tumblr.com via Kristin on Pinterest

And I want to look that cozy, today.

The Venti Vent

I have this struggle. 

It's a marriage killer.

It's one that looks like it will lift the cares off my shoulders, but instead I am left lacking. With more trouble than when I started.

I like to call it The Venti Vent. 

No, I don't mean letting out a struggle to some godly friends or the occasional mess I become in front of my husband when something serious happens and I don't know what to do.

We're skipping the tall and grande and heading straight to the venti. 

I will be going right along, taking things to the Lord and walking with Him and resting in his truth and grace. Then something will frustrate me and that one thing, like forgetting my purse, if not covered in God's word and right thinking about the situation, will turn my heart upside down.

And when partnered with the opportunity to tell someone about it...

The Venti Vent enters the picture.

I have two options:
Run from my desire and the momentary fix of full vent
Or
Give into it. Let my mouth run free, speaking with my flesh.

Let me paint the picture...

Newlyweds.
9 months married.
Blessed with abundant riches of their savior.
Best friends. Jokes. Easygoing. 
A husband that provides, encourages, leads, laughs, and serves. 
Serves and never complains.
An adoring wife, along for the ride.

But..

All at once there's that one frustrating thing
And she thinks if she just speaks it to him 
Then she'll feel better.
So she speaks those first words. 
And it doesn't feel better, yet.
And as if she's never played with this fire before
She takes those things she was previously looking at through the Lord's eyes
And starts burning them on The Venti Vent Fire.
The words keep flowing and flowing until every thing has been looked out and spoken about through her flesh.

The Vent is over. Every bit she had she threw on the fire.

She should feel free at this point, right?

She got it all out.

No, she feels empty.

She burnt up all the good things, too.

And that sweet husband, he's confused, too.

You got the flames flying so high, you burnt him.

And you got smoke in his eyes. And now he can't see clearly.

All those things you said, you really don't feel that badly about.

But the temptation of the vent was too strong.

How are you going to convince that husband about a different perspective?

You wonder why he seems to misunderstand you.

Well, the intesity of that full vent is memorable.

What about the intensity of your praise?

What about the Venti Truth?

Are those forgettable?

If I would have turned from those first words, never letting them come out. Then the fire would never have been built.

I could have used my energy to sing His words in my heart.
To speak them aloud. 
And then the only burning would have been my desire for the Lord.

How quickly can our words burn down our houses, ladies?

We spend years building it up by living God's truth.

When your lips are tempted to speak those first few words...
for your immediate desire to take the easy way out...
remember, it's a lie.
The easy way is easy for a minute
But when the vent is over
You will be left with more problems than when you started.
You will not be free. 
You will be discouraged.
Your husband will not feel closer to you, but more confused about what is truly going on.

 "A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back." Proverbs 29:11

 "When words are many, transgression is not lacking,but whoever restrains his lips is prudent." Proverbs 10:19

The good news is that God's grace is bigger than The Venti Vent.

If you struggle with this, too, please join with me in crying out for the Lord's help.
I pray we will not settle for what seems natural, but that the Lord, in his merciful riches, will guide us in the spirit.

I pray we win the war with words. For our hearts. For our friends. For our husbands. For God's glory.

You're not alone in this war with our flesh.

E & A,

Jo

Chicken broth and man candles

This guy with perfect teeth actually  hangs out with me

I had to start this post with that. It just made your day, didn't it? You want to sing a song or grow a beard, dontcha?

At our house, we're weird and we love it.

I was seeing all of this unfold on wednesday at our community group, as I was dramatically giving the reasons why all our friends should come visit our house. I should have just shown them the picture above. Sold. Easy as pie.

Instead, it went something like this :

Think fast paced and jazzy

"At our house there will always be coffee and soup. A vat of soup. And I have this candle that smells like sexy man scent. Really, when I told the lady at Bath and Body works that it smelled like my husband, she told me she refers to that candle as the Sexy Man candle. I couldn't resist. You want to come to our house and smell it. You like chicken broth? I will make you chicken broth. And there are tons of warm blankies. Shoes, no shoes..we don't care! The men can smoke cigars and talk about theology around a firepit. Actually, if the ladies want to smoke cigars and talk about theology, that's good, too. Oh, and if you find something you like at my house, I just might give it to you. I don't cook very well, but I know how to bake some brownies." 

Here's the thing, all I really had to say was, "Clarke will be there." It's very handy having a likeable husband. The guy is not afraid to be funny, okay? He made up a song the other night about things that happened in each grade of school. He told two girls that santa wasn't real and their parents buy the gifts. Then, he took them beaded necklaces to apologize. That was just 1st grade, I believe. Ask him about telling the teacher he was allergic to bologna or the time he pierced his ear with a nail, in class, for $50.

My life will never be boring. And it will always be funny.

If you need a laugh, our door is always open.


E & A,
 Jo