Better

Remember that good 'ol saying, "It's better to give than to receive." 

Yeah, that one.

Except, when it comes to grace, it's kind of like a vicious cycle. You have to receive it from the Lord to be able to understand giving it. And you need every bit of holy spirit help to give it. But when you give it, it reminds you how much it means for someone else to have to give even more grace to you.

It's better to give and receive.

A few situations this week have reminded me so much of the peace that grace brings...

On more than one occasion we have made plans with people and they've bailed last minute. Your flesh so badly wants to think the worst - to assume they don't care or value your time - but the gospel just overcame me in that very moment to say, "It's completely fine. We understand." And it was genuine. Because, folks, we do understand. In that moment, I thought of how much we have going on and how we want to make time for everyone and sometimes we have to call things off for our sanity. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all about learning how to say no up front and making sure we stick to our word. But we are human...and our God is so gracious. And that very fact about him allows us to be gracious, too. Because we have Jesus.

Grace is sweet. In those small moments, it changes the whole game. It feels so good to give it your brothers and sisters, and to pray that they will want to genuinely give it back to you. 

Situation 2...

I'm in the grocery store and run into one of my friends. She's talking to me about serious stuff. My mind is just not there. I'm distracted by the people talking all around. No encouragement is coming to mind. My mind is coming up with all logical answers that would sound like I was being sarcastic. I had nothing. And she could tell, said something quick and walked away. 

Man, in the past (like a week ago, and I'm sure it will come up again) I would have worried myself crazy about that instance. I would have text her right afterward and apologized my heart out. I would have scrounged for every bit of encouragement and taken extreme, unnecessary measures to make sure she knew I was sorry and I cared. This time, I enjoyed the rest of my shopping trip. 

All those things we pep-talk ourselves with..the "I'm just human. I made a mistake. I'll rest in grace and just let her know that it was an off day," that stuff was actually in my spirit and not just my head. I didn't just think it; I lived it. 

Since then, I have talked to her. We're close friends, so she knows that I truly care and lift her up to the Lord. And one day doesn't change that truth.

Grace is like a refreshing drink of water. Okay, that sounds so cliche. I could backspace..hmmm...nah.

I pray I can actually enjoy grace more often. Not just talk about all of it's benefits, but live in them. 

Can I get an amen?

I swear I'll amen to myself and the Lord if I have to. 


E & A,

Jo

 

Lucky #8

  8 months since the day..

 I went to breakfast with my best friends.

 They continued to set up the reception and do all the hard work, while keeping me away. True friendship,
 people, is letting your friend have alone time on her wedding day and telling her "no" she cannot help with
 anything.

I melted all over my friends when they came to pick me up for our hair appointments. I like being the
sane one. The one that is calm and encouraging and brings extra deodorant and tampons and snacks,
just in case. But I'm so thankful God let them be that for me. They brought me coffee and grabbed anything and everything I "might" have needed. And they never once made me feel crazy. They let me sink into the
emotions and crazy, and they carried me.

Ralph Lauren dress. Yes, it was on me. And my hair was done. I looked like me. More like I was dressing up for a party than a wedding...and I liked that.

We prayed with our best friends. I can't describe it.

Our pastor spoke words we still remember.

I made a covenant.

I received the greatest gift - the opportunity to understand God's grace in a whole new way.

I remember the strangest things...one of our friends, looking so beautiful in her dress with the accessory of a baby bump. friends having fun with the ginormous huge holy cow big sparklers in the darkness. Clarke being so hungry at the reception. I remember walking away into the quietness to sign our marriage license.

 I never felt more rushed through a sweet thing in my life.

 And then, we drove away.

 It seems so much longer than 8 months. In a good way. In a crazy, sanctifying, lots of change way.

 I wish I could get down on paper what the Lord has done to my heart through this man he allows me to
 run this race with.

 People like to tell us we're still babies when they hear how long we've been married. But I believe the Lord doesn't work everyone on the same time schedule. It's not about ages or years married, but about every day
needing God's grace. I will be a baby til the day I die. I'll need the Lord's grace upon grace for each new day, just as he apportioned it for me long before I was born.

Clarke, you have taught me more by what you do than what you could ever teach me in word. I know you do not lose sight of your first love, and our goal is to help each other run to our real home. Even when you're
not around, I remember to never be afraid, because our sweet Jesus is a warrior king and he is coming for us.

This marriage constantly reminds me of home. It's the most indescribable thing I've ever done. How do you find the words for Him?

I am humbled by His goodness to me. I deserve nothing good, yet have attained all truly good things through Him.

That's what the #8 means to me, guys. Jesus. 

The Tower of Babble

 It has been so long since I've written. Anything. Anywhere.

 I want to write it all out because there is so much that I see 

 and I want to always remember. I want to tell our story, so God 

 can use it however he wants.

 At the end of the day, when it's all said and done, our life is 

 crazy FULL. Full of mercy. grace. truth. our selfish ambition 

 and God's holy hand guiding us in his kingdom work. full of 

 responsibilities and blessing. full of work and full of play.

 Full of our messiness and Him getting all the glory for his 

 holiness.

 In these times, there is one thing I lack more than ever - the

 words.

 The words to explain and paint the picture. And he tells me,

 "Just because you don't have the words to describe what I'm 

  doing does not mean that what I'm doing matters any less. Your

  words are not my value. I am far above your words about me."

 I am so lucky to have a God whose word is ultimate. He needs me 

 for nothing and yet allows me to be part of His glory. 

 When I have no words, I have no need to worry. I have the "word." 

 John 1:14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we

 have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father,

 full of grace and truth.

 His word matters more than anything. 

 In my time of lacking my words - don't get me wrong, I 

 completely believe that God loves hearing us talk about him, 

 and gives us stories that speak to others hearts for his glory -

 I sit in His word. That I might know Jesus and his truth and 

 speak those words first.

 

 

  

 

FIVE

I like to make lists. Of any kind. And I make my friends do this thing, called "Top Five."
It's basically of their list of their top five things from the day or week.

It's a sweet way to hear what's really on their hearts.

My top five:

1.) My husband cleaning out the bathtub (and the drain) so I can take a bath that actually makes me cleaner. For some reason, our bathtub would not stay clean, no matter how many times I scrubbed it. Clarke cleaned out the drain and discovered a big glob of dirtiness left from the last people who lived in our apartment before us. TMI, I know. Oh, but how great a clean tub is.

2.) Coffee dates with one of best friends. We will drive 40 minutes to get to a starbucks. Sounds a little extravagant. It's our special treat and the only coffee place that stays open late enough for us. The starbucks on fairfield in Fort Wayne is our favorite. We talk about Jesus' redemption of our lives, sing to old songs we hear playing, and I drink a nonfat-with-whip-white chocolate mocha (or an iced mocha) while she sips a cinnamon dolce latte. Her love for the Lord pours over on me. Precious 10 p.m. coffee time.

3.) Helping my MIL paint her kitchen. She is a busy woman. And a strong woman. And I love helping her with anything. And she's also stinkin' funny, so it makes it a pretty easy choice.

4.) Selling just enough stuff in our garage sale to make just the right amount of money to pay a medical bill. Hallelujah!

5.) Look up the song, "Before the Throne of God Above." It blesses my heart.

What are your top 5??

Goodies for the middle of the week...

Source: whereyourdreamslive.tumblr.com via Jocelyn on Pinterest

Seriously hope my kids look like that.

Source: Uploaded by user via Jocelyn on Pinterest

This is how I like to dress. Soft and comfy, but so sophisticated and ladylike.

Source: cokercola.blogspot.com via Jocelyn on Pinterest

Jesus, I love this song. Because my heart loves you and it is still prone to wander.

Source: shelterinteriordesign.blogspot.com via Jocelyn on Pinterest

Glamorous. The heavenly creator put a deep hunger in me for colors and patterns and sweet designs.

What a beautiful wednesday!

Baby love!

Nephews are probably the best gift ever. Holla, ladies!!

let my newness dance all over my..oldness?

 What if I told you within like 3 weeks my husband made the decision that we were going to be part of a new community of believers?

What if I told you that 2 weeks before that I lost my job?

What if I told you that 2 weeks after that the community of believers moved to a new building, and started meeting together on Sunday at 5. 5 p.m. Not a.m.

What are you thinking right now?
I hope you're thinking, "Blessed."

I lost my job just in time to go on spring break with a bunch of middle school kids. My husband and I had the chance to hear their hearts and be in their world for a week. To some it sounds painful.

It was precious. Precious time. God lets us be part of His kingdom. He entrusts us with His word and lets us speak it to the hearts of His precious, precious people. You might not think so, but 6th-8th grade is sweet in all the ways God made them to be sweet. When they're ridiculous, you see sinners just like me. And when you look past that to what God sees in His chosen children, you see all the redemption God has or can pour out on their lives. Precious.

I lost my job just in time for my husband to get a raise. And for me to be at home more often. Precious.

I shut my mouth just in time for my husband to say, "This is where God wants us to go. We're going." Precious grace from Jesus.

We started going just in time to get to know a few and walk into a new place with them.

We gave our hearts to God's people in that community just in time to start having fellowship on Sunday nights. That means we get to spend Sunday morning together, preparing our hearts and cooking and cleaning. Together. Loving on this brand new marriage God has given us. And it is so precious.

22 and without a job is different.
New people are different.
5 o'clock on Sunday nights is different.
Preciously different.

Lord, let your newness in me dance all over my old self and my old situations. Let me see your precious ways.

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