The Venti Vent

I have this struggle. 

It's a marriage killer.

It's one that looks like it will lift the cares off my shoulders, but instead I am left lacking. With more trouble than when I started.

I like to call it The Venti Vent. 

No, I don't mean letting out a struggle to some godly friends or the occasional mess I become in front of my husband when something serious happens and I don't know what to do.

We're skipping the tall and grande and heading straight to the venti. 

I will be going right along, taking things to the Lord and walking with Him and resting in his truth and grace. Then something will frustrate me and that one thing, like forgetting my purse, if not covered in God's word and right thinking about the situation, will turn my heart upside down.

And when partnered with the opportunity to tell someone about it...

The Venti Vent enters the picture.

I have two options:
Run from my desire and the momentary fix of full vent
Or
Give into it. Let my mouth run free, speaking with my flesh.

Let me paint the picture...

Newlyweds.
9 months married.
Blessed with abundant riches of their savior.
Best friends. Jokes. Easygoing. 
A husband that provides, encourages, leads, laughs, and serves. 
Serves and never complains.
An adoring wife, along for the ride.

But..

All at once there's that one frustrating thing
And she thinks if she just speaks it to him 
Then she'll feel better.
So she speaks those first words. 
And it doesn't feel better, yet.
And as if she's never played with this fire before
She takes those things she was previously looking at through the Lord's eyes
And starts burning them on The Venti Vent Fire.
The words keep flowing and flowing until every thing has been looked out and spoken about through her flesh.

The Vent is over. Every bit she had she threw on the fire.

She should feel free at this point, right?

She got it all out.

No, she feels empty.

She burnt up all the good things, too.

And that sweet husband, he's confused, too.

You got the flames flying so high, you burnt him.

And you got smoke in his eyes. And now he can't see clearly.

All those things you said, you really don't feel that badly about.

But the temptation of the vent was too strong.

How are you going to convince that husband about a different perspective?

You wonder why he seems to misunderstand you.

Well, the intesity of that full vent is memorable.

What about the intensity of your praise?

What about the Venti Truth?

Are those forgettable?

If I would have turned from those first words, never letting them come out. Then the fire would never have been built.

I could have used my energy to sing His words in my heart.
To speak them aloud. 
And then the only burning would have been my desire for the Lord.

How quickly can our words burn down our houses, ladies?

We spend years building it up by living God's truth.

When your lips are tempted to speak those first few words...
for your immediate desire to take the easy way out...
remember, it's a lie.
The easy way is easy for a minute
But when the vent is over
You will be left with more problems than when you started.
You will not be free. 
You will be discouraged.
Your husband will not feel closer to you, but more confused about what is truly going on.

 "A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back." Proverbs 29:11

 "When words are many, transgression is not lacking,but whoever restrains his lips is prudent." Proverbs 10:19

The good news is that God's grace is bigger than The Venti Vent.

If you struggle with this, too, please join with me in crying out for the Lord's help.
I pray we will not settle for what seems natural, but that the Lord, in his merciful riches, will guide us in the spirit.

I pray we win the war with words. For our hearts. For our friends. For our husbands. For God's glory.

You're not alone in this war with our flesh.

E & A,

Jo

Chicken broth and man candles

This guy with perfect teeth actually  hangs out with me

I had to start this post with that. It just made your day, didn't it? You want to sing a song or grow a beard, dontcha?

At our house, we're weird and we love it.

I was seeing all of this unfold on wednesday at our community group, as I was dramatically giving the reasons why all our friends should come visit our house. I should have just shown them the picture above. Sold. Easy as pie.

Instead, it went something like this :

Think fast paced and jazzy

"At our house there will always be coffee and soup. A vat of soup. And I have this candle that smells like sexy man scent. Really, when I told the lady at Bath and Body works that it smelled like my husband, she told me she refers to that candle as the Sexy Man candle. I couldn't resist. You want to come to our house and smell it. You like chicken broth? I will make you chicken broth. And there are tons of warm blankies. Shoes, no shoes..we don't care! The men can smoke cigars and talk about theology around a firepit. Actually, if the ladies want to smoke cigars and talk about theology, that's good, too. Oh, and if you find something you like at my house, I just might give it to you. I don't cook very well, but I know how to bake some brownies." 

Here's the thing, all I really had to say was, "Clarke will be there." It's very handy having a likeable husband. The guy is not afraid to be funny, okay? He made up a song the other night about things that happened in each grade of school. He told two girls that santa wasn't real and their parents buy the gifts. Then, he took them beaded necklaces to apologize. That was just 1st grade, I believe. Ask him about telling the teacher he was allergic to bologna or the time he pierced his ear with a nail, in class, for $50.

My life will never be boring. And it will always be funny.

If you need a laugh, our door is always open.


E & A,
 Jo

let my newness dance all over my..oldness?

 What if I told you within like 3 weeks my husband made the decision that we were going to be part of a new community of believers?

What if I told you that 2 weeks before that I lost my job?

What if I told you that 2 weeks after that the community of believers moved to a new building, and started meeting together on Sunday at 5. 5 p.m. Not a.m.

What are you thinking right now?
I hope you're thinking, "Blessed."

I lost my job just in time to go on spring break with a bunch of middle school kids. My husband and I had the chance to hear their hearts and be in their world for a week. To some it sounds painful.

It was precious. Precious time. God lets us be part of His kingdom. He entrusts us with His word and lets us speak it to the hearts of His precious, precious people. You might not think so, but 6th-8th grade is sweet in all the ways God made them to be sweet. When they're ridiculous, you see sinners just like me. And when you look past that to what God sees in His chosen children, you see all the redemption God has or can pour out on their lives. Precious.

I lost my job just in time for my husband to get a raise. And for me to be at home more often. Precious.

I shut my mouth just in time for my husband to say, "This is where God wants us to go. We're going." Precious grace from Jesus.

We started going just in time to get to know a few and walk into a new place with them.

We gave our hearts to God's people in that community just in time to start having fellowship on Sunday nights. That means we get to spend Sunday morning together, preparing our hearts and cooking and cleaning. Together. Loving on this brand new marriage God has given us. And it is so precious.

22 and without a job is different.
New people are different.
5 o'clock on Sunday nights is different.
Preciously different.

Lord, let your newness in me dance all over my old self and my old situations. Let me see your precious ways.

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