Reality

 I love seeing my friends for the first time with no makeup.

 Really, that's part of the bonding.

 Greasy hair, no contacts, no makeup. I adore it.

So, here's what I look like at 10 p.m.  Let's be friends, okay?

   

No-work wednesday

 Because it's my day off...

  
Fall is my favorite for dressing.
 

Source: lesfemmes.tumblr.com via Kristin on Pinterest

And I want to look that cozy, today.

The Venti Vent

I have this struggle. 

It's a marriage killer.

It's one that looks like it will lift the cares off my shoulders, but instead I am left lacking. With more trouble than when I started.

I like to call it The Venti Vent. 

No, I don't mean letting out a struggle to some godly friends or the occasional mess I become in front of my husband when something serious happens and I don't know what to do.

We're skipping the tall and grande and heading straight to the venti. 

I will be going right along, taking things to the Lord and walking with Him and resting in his truth and grace. Then something will frustrate me and that one thing, like forgetting my purse, if not covered in God's word and right thinking about the situation, will turn my heart upside down.

And when partnered with the opportunity to tell someone about it...

The Venti Vent enters the picture.

I have two options:
Run from my desire and the momentary fix of full vent
Or
Give into it. Let my mouth run free, speaking with my flesh.

Let me paint the picture...

Newlyweds.
9 months married.
Blessed with abundant riches of their savior.
Best friends. Jokes. Easygoing. 
A husband that provides, encourages, leads, laughs, and serves. 
Serves and never complains.
An adoring wife, along for the ride.

But..

All at once there's that one frustrating thing
And she thinks if she just speaks it to him 
Then she'll feel better.
So she speaks those first words. 
And it doesn't feel better, yet.
And as if she's never played with this fire before
She takes those things she was previously looking at through the Lord's eyes
And starts burning them on The Venti Vent Fire.
The words keep flowing and flowing until every thing has been looked out and spoken about through her flesh.

The Vent is over. Every bit she had she threw on the fire.

She should feel free at this point, right?

She got it all out.

No, she feels empty.

She burnt up all the good things, too.

And that sweet husband, he's confused, too.

You got the flames flying so high, you burnt him.

And you got smoke in his eyes. And now he can't see clearly.

All those things you said, you really don't feel that badly about.

But the temptation of the vent was too strong.

How are you going to convince that husband about a different perspective?

You wonder why he seems to misunderstand you.

Well, the intesity of that full vent is memorable.

What about the intensity of your praise?

What about the Venti Truth?

Are those forgettable?

If I would have turned from those first words, never letting them come out. Then the fire would never have been built.

I could have used my energy to sing His words in my heart.
To speak them aloud. 
And then the only burning would have been my desire for the Lord.

How quickly can our words burn down our houses, ladies?

We spend years building it up by living God's truth.

When your lips are tempted to speak those first few words...
for your immediate desire to take the easy way out...
remember, it's a lie.
The easy way is easy for a minute
But when the vent is over
You will be left with more problems than when you started.
You will not be free. 
You will be discouraged.
Your husband will not feel closer to you, but more confused about what is truly going on.

 "A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back." Proverbs 29:11

 "When words are many, transgression is not lacking,but whoever restrains his lips is prudent." Proverbs 10:19

The good news is that God's grace is bigger than The Venti Vent.

If you struggle with this, too, please join with me in crying out for the Lord's help.
I pray we will not settle for what seems natural, but that the Lord, in his merciful riches, will guide us in the spirit.

I pray we win the war with words. For our hearts. For our friends. For our husbands. For God's glory.

You're not alone in this war with our flesh.

E & A,

Jo

Chicken broth and man candles

This guy with perfect teeth actually  hangs out with me

I had to start this post with that. It just made your day, didn't it? You want to sing a song or grow a beard, dontcha?

At our house, we're weird and we love it.

I was seeing all of this unfold on wednesday at our community group, as I was dramatically giving the reasons why all our friends should come visit our house. I should have just shown them the picture above. Sold. Easy as pie.

Instead, it went something like this :

Think fast paced and jazzy

"At our house there will always be coffee and soup. A vat of soup. And I have this candle that smells like sexy man scent. Really, when I told the lady at Bath and Body works that it smelled like my husband, she told me she refers to that candle as the Sexy Man candle. I couldn't resist. You want to come to our house and smell it. You like chicken broth? I will make you chicken broth. And there are tons of warm blankies. Shoes, no shoes..we don't care! The men can smoke cigars and talk about theology around a firepit. Actually, if the ladies want to smoke cigars and talk about theology, that's good, too. Oh, and if you find something you like at my house, I just might give it to you. I don't cook very well, but I know how to bake some brownies." 

Here's the thing, all I really had to say was, "Clarke will be there." It's very handy having a likeable husband. The guy is not afraid to be funny, okay? He made up a song the other night about things that happened in each grade of school. He told two girls that santa wasn't real and their parents buy the gifts. Then, he took them beaded necklaces to apologize. That was just 1st grade, I believe. Ask him about telling the teacher he was allergic to bologna or the time he pierced his ear with a nail, in class, for $50.

My life will never be boring. And it will always be funny.

If you need a laugh, our door is always open.


E & A,
 Jo

Better

Remember that good 'ol saying, "It's better to give than to receive." 

Yeah, that one.

Except, when it comes to grace, it's kind of like a vicious cycle. You have to receive it from the Lord to be able to understand giving it. And you need every bit of holy spirit help to give it. But when you give it, it reminds you how much it means for someone else to have to give even more grace to you.

It's better to give and receive.

A few situations this week have reminded me so much of the peace that grace brings...

On more than one occasion we have made plans with people and they've bailed last minute. Your flesh so badly wants to think the worst - to assume they don't care or value your time - but the gospel just overcame me in that very moment to say, "It's completely fine. We understand." And it was genuine. Because, folks, we do understand. In that moment, I thought of how much we have going on and how we want to make time for everyone and sometimes we have to call things off for our sanity. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all about learning how to say no up front and making sure we stick to our word. But we are human...and our God is so gracious. And that very fact about him allows us to be gracious, too. Because we have Jesus.

Grace is sweet. In those small moments, it changes the whole game. It feels so good to give it your brothers and sisters, and to pray that they will want to genuinely give it back to you. 

Situation 2...

I'm in the grocery store and run into one of my friends. She's talking to me about serious stuff. My mind is just not there. I'm distracted by the people talking all around. No encouragement is coming to mind. My mind is coming up with all logical answers that would sound like I was being sarcastic. I had nothing. And she could tell, said something quick and walked away. 

Man, in the past (like a week ago, and I'm sure it will come up again) I would have worried myself crazy about that instance. I would have text her right afterward and apologized my heart out. I would have scrounged for every bit of encouragement and taken extreme, unnecessary measures to make sure she knew I was sorry and I cared. This time, I enjoyed the rest of my shopping trip. 

All those things we pep-talk ourselves with..the "I'm just human. I made a mistake. I'll rest in grace and just let her know that it was an off day," that stuff was actually in my spirit and not just my head. I didn't just think it; I lived it. 

Since then, I have talked to her. We're close friends, so she knows that I truly care and lift her up to the Lord. And one day doesn't change that truth.

Grace is like a refreshing drink of water. Okay, that sounds so cliche. I could backspace..hmmm...nah.

I pray I can actually enjoy grace more often. Not just talk about all of it's benefits, but live in them. 

Can I get an amen?

I swear I'll amen to myself and the Lord if I have to. 


E & A,

Jo

 

Lucky #8

  8 months since the day..

 I went to breakfast with my best friends.

 They continued to set up the reception and do all the hard work, while keeping me away. True friendship,
 people, is letting your friend have alone time on her wedding day and telling her "no" she cannot help with
 anything.

I melted all over my friends when they came to pick me up for our hair appointments. I like being the
sane one. The one that is calm and encouraging and brings extra deodorant and tampons and snacks,
just in case. But I'm so thankful God let them be that for me. They brought me coffee and grabbed anything and everything I "might" have needed. And they never once made me feel crazy. They let me sink into the
emotions and crazy, and they carried me.

Ralph Lauren dress. Yes, it was on me. And my hair was done. I looked like me. More like I was dressing up for a party than a wedding...and I liked that.

We prayed with our best friends. I can't describe it.

Our pastor spoke words we still remember.

I made a covenant.

I received the greatest gift - the opportunity to understand God's grace in a whole new way.

I remember the strangest things...one of our friends, looking so beautiful in her dress with the accessory of a baby bump. friends having fun with the ginormous huge holy cow big sparklers in the darkness. Clarke being so hungry at the reception. I remember walking away into the quietness to sign our marriage license.

 I never felt more rushed through a sweet thing in my life.

 And then, we drove away.

 It seems so much longer than 8 months. In a good way. In a crazy, sanctifying, lots of change way.

 I wish I could get down on paper what the Lord has done to my heart through this man he allows me to
 run this race with.

 People like to tell us we're still babies when they hear how long we've been married. But I believe the Lord doesn't work everyone on the same time schedule. It's not about ages or years married, but about every day
needing God's grace. I will be a baby til the day I die. I'll need the Lord's grace upon grace for each new day, just as he apportioned it for me long before I was born.

Clarke, you have taught me more by what you do than what you could ever teach me in word. I know you do not lose sight of your first love, and our goal is to help each other run to our real home. Even when you're
not around, I remember to never be afraid, because our sweet Jesus is a warrior king and he is coming for us.

This marriage constantly reminds me of home. It's the most indescribable thing I've ever done. How do you find the words for Him?

I am humbled by His goodness to me. I deserve nothing good, yet have attained all truly good things through Him.

That's what the #8 means to me, guys. Jesus. 

The Tower of Babble

 It has been so long since I've written. Anything. Anywhere.

 I want to write it all out because there is so much that I see 

 and I want to always remember. I want to tell our story, so God 

 can use it however he wants.

 At the end of the day, when it's all said and done, our life is 

 crazy FULL. Full of mercy. grace. truth. our selfish ambition 

 and God's holy hand guiding us in his kingdom work. full of 

 responsibilities and blessing. full of work and full of play.

 Full of our messiness and Him getting all the glory for his 

 holiness.

 In these times, there is one thing I lack more than ever - the

 words.

 The words to explain and paint the picture. And he tells me,

 "Just because you don't have the words to describe what I'm 

  doing does not mean that what I'm doing matters any less. Your

  words are not my value. I am far above your words about me."

 I am so lucky to have a God whose word is ultimate. He needs me 

 for nothing and yet allows me to be part of His glory. 

 When I have no words, I have no need to worry. I have the "word." 

 John 1:14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we

 have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father,

 full of grace and truth.

 His word matters more than anything. 

 In my time of lacking my words - don't get me wrong, I 

 completely believe that God loves hearing us talk about him, 

 and gives us stories that speak to others hearts for his glory -

 I sit in His word. That I might know Jesus and his truth and 

 speak those words first.